The Feather and the Fan
by Moonsong
Summary: **SPOILER WARNING: Entire Series** 10 years after the adventures end, the survivors are in for just one more surprise... (Rated PG-13 for Language only)


=============================  
Title: The Feather and the Fan   
Author: Moonsong  
E-mail: tsukinouta@yahoo.com  
Date Started: 09.10.00  
Last Modified: 07.05.01  
=============================  
  
SPOILERS: ENTIRE SERIES - UP TO AND INCLUDING OVA 2 & MANGA VOL. 18  
WARNINGS: LANGUAGE  
  
=============================  
  
  
I awoke shivering. It wasn't particularly cold out but a chill ran   
down my spine anyway, causing my hair to stand on end. I raised my   
head slowly and padded outside, almost afraid of what awaited me   
there.  
  
The moon was already high in the sky, its pale rays casting a   
reddish glow to the trees shadowing the road. Wait- that wasn't   
the moon!  
  
// No, it's not. //  
  
The amused chuckle echoed everywhere. Or maybe it was just in my   
mind. Either way, I jumped with a frightened squeak and landed   
warily by the entrance of my little home.  
  
A light breeze blew past my face, and with it, a suggestion of   
wings. Almost involuntarily, my face tilted up to savor the soft   
touch.  
  
// Hello, little one. //  
  
The voice was familiar now, its silken tones soothing any previous   
fears I'd had. Had it really been so long?  
  
// I have another task for you. //  
  
No.   
  
I froze. I wanted to flee. I wanted to turn my back and walk away.   
The last task that had been given to me nearly drove me insane. It   
had taken some time before I could remember how to function, to   
live a normal life. There was no way I wanted to go through that   
again.  
  
And yet... something in that gentle voice, the light in those   
fiery eyes, compelled me to obey. Bowing my head, I surrendered   
myself and awaited my mission once again.  
  
  
=============================  
The Feather and the Fan  
By Moonsong  
tsukinouta@yahoo.com  
"People of the South Wind" by Kansas  
=============================  
  
He took the mask off with a sigh, the scarred visage in the mirror   
reflecting the weight of a thousand lifetimes. Setting the smiling   
thing in its usual spot on the dresser, he turned away and plodded   
to the bed, settling down on it heavily. He was tired. Not from   
the exhaustion of a hard day's work, though he had been on foot   
for months and had only now returned home. No, this lassitude was   
bone-deep. A silent, barely noticeable intrusion that crept into   
his thoughts that day he had lost part of his vision. Even after   
years of endurance, endless battles fought within his mind, the   
wave still loomed over him, threatening to wash him away at any   
second. The last few months, he'd been able to keep the demons   
away. But not today.   
  
~ There are some who can still remember  
All the things that we used to do ~  
  
Ten years ago, he had watched a dear friend, nay, brother, give up   
the last of his life energy to save a battlefield that had   
continued to kill itself off, barely acknowledging the gift they   
had been given. He had screamed at them until his voice grew   
hoarse and his eyes had bled tears, yet they still refused to see.   
Never had he witnessed such utter stupidity. And never, had he   
been able to forget it.  
  
~ But the days of our youth were numbered  
And the ones who survive it are few ~  
  
By mutual consent, he and Tasuki had gone separate ways after   
Miaka and Taka had returned to her world. The other's face only   
served as a remembrance of the ones they had lost and the pain   
they had suffered. Nuriko, Chiriko, Hotohori, Mitsukake- most of   
the time, he avoided thinking about them, else he lose what was   
left of his sanity.   
  
Belatedly, he realized he was thinking about them now.   
  
Throwing an arm over his eyes, Chichiri gave in and let the faces   
of his long-dead brothers dance before his vision. Years of   
suppression had to find its outlet somehow, right? Maybe if he   
faced it now, the sadness wouldn't be so bad. With a choked sob,   
that was half a hiccup and more than a little feigned, he waited   
for the despair to overcome him.  
  
~ Oh, I can still see the smiling faces  
When the times were so good ~  
  
Tears dammed against his closed lids as he allowed himself to   
grieve after all these years. So many failures, so many lost   
lives. So many futures thrown away under a brilliant crimson sun.   
The light of death, the color of blood. If only they had known.  
  
His heart thudded painfully, each pulse flashing a memory. Even if   
they could have predicted it, he knew as well as anyone that the   
four who had sacrificed their lives would have met their fates   
regardless, embracing their deaths with open arms to further their   
cause. They were seishi. They were his brothers. They knew what   
that meant. So did he. It didn't make things any easier.  
  
~ All in the old familiar places  
I'd go back if I could ~  
  
No, the question wasn't of regret. Nothing he could have done   
would have altered the course of events. What plagued him now was   
why. Why, out of the lover of life, the keeper of knowledge, the   
leader of men, and the healer of suffering, had he, the sinner,   
been chosen to live on?  
  
A noise at his door made him start. Who could be out there at this   
time of day? And at his desolate little hut, no less? No one, not   
even Tasuki knew where he had taken up lonely residence deep   
within the forest near Sailo. The nearest village was a good half-  
day by foot away and he never made a friend familiar enough to   
visit. Wary, he slid silently out of bed and padded to the door.  
  
The tapping came again. Curious now, he cracked open the door, his   
body automatically falling into a defensive stance. Old habits   
were hard to break after all. He didn't have anywhere near   
Tamahome's near-legendary skills but he had been in a few scuffles   
during his wanderings.  
  
There was no one there.  
  
Puzzled, he opened the door fully and swept his gaze from one end   
of the clearing to the other. Nothing. He was about to retreat   
back into his little cave when he caught a hint of color from the   
corner of his eye. His breath caught.  
  
On the rocky soil, anchored by a familiar iron fan, was a crimson   
feather.  
  
The last time he had seen the tessen, it had been strapped to   
Tasuki's back as always. That it was here, now, on his doorstep,   
meant one of two things- either the bandit was in the forest   
somewhere waiting to scare the living daylights out of him, or   
something had happened to him.   
  
"Tasuki?" he called, his gaze once again sweeping the shadowed   
forest.   
  
No answer. Worry immediately settled in. If something had happened   
to his fellow seishi, who had brought the tessen?  
  
Closing his hands on the familiar cool metal, Chichiri kicked the   
door shut, not noticing the feather that followed him in on the   
slight wind the movement created. Anxiety renewed his energy and   
he laced the fan into a sack he often used for traveling, making   
sure it was secure. Stopping briefly to pick up his mask, he   
shouldered the pack and set off, one thought blazing a path   
through his mind.  
  
"I have to find him."   
  
~ People of the south wind, people of the southern wind  
It's the people of the wind, I got to be there again ~  
*****  
  
He didn't see me in the bushes, thankfully. Since it was still   
mid-afternoon, I was worried that the shrubbery wouldn't provide   
enough cover. But it had.  
  
// Well, that wasn't so hard. //  
  
// Easy for you to say! You're not the one who had to travel   
through the forest with an iron fan strapped to your back! //   
  
// Tasuki never had a problem. //  
  
// I am not Tasuki. //  
  
A light chuckle and the presence subsided. Sighing, I shook my   
head. // Why me? //   
  
I suppose I should be grateful. He had stayed with me the entire   
time I had been traveling, making sure I reached my destination   
safely. The tessen had not been easy to obtain. I thought for sure   
those Reikaku bandits would have caught me.   
  
He laughed again. // I wouldn't have let them harm you. //  
  
I rolled my eyes. The thought was comforting but it didn't make   
that flight down the mountain any less frightening. Scanning the   
path, I trailed Chichiri long enough to make sure he was on the   
right track, then loped down another path.  
  
One down, one to go.   
*****  
  
THWACK!  
THWACK!  
THWACK!  
THWACK!  
  
Sweat poured off his forehead to sting eyes that were already   
burning from the mid-afternoon sun. His body ached in places he   
never knew he even had. Setting the axe down a moment, he paused,   
chest heaving from his exertions.   
  
~ Well, it's a hard thing to face the music:  
But it's something everybody has got to do ~  
  
The significance of the day was not lost on the flame-haired ex-  
bandit as he went about his daily routine. Eyes narrowing, he   
studied the enormous pile of wood in front of him. He had pushed   
the memory to the back of his mind, losing himself in his chores.   
But an emotion so denied would inevitably rise to the surface, as   
undying as the phoenix he had so long ago served. So he went into   
the forest to work it out of his system. When chopping down a few   
half-rotted timbers hadn't taken the edge off the knife in his   
heart, he had hauled each tree, one by one, to the back of his   
home, determined to stock up on firewood for the winter.  
  
~ So I hope that I can always remember  
All the crazy times we had to go through ~  
  
Funny how times change. It didn't seem like all that long ago when   
he was doing the exact same thing, chopping wood, and whining   
about it as his older sister pelted him with the smaller of the   
logs for something or other. All he'd known back then were his   
ever-so-annoying family members and an almost all-consuming desire   
to be away from them. He wanted to be alone. To live his own life,   
to be his own man. At fourteen, he'd thought he'd known all there   
was to know about "the good life." One that didn't include   
annoying sisters, overly-endowed mothers, or much too silent   
fathers. Come to think of it, he hadn't included friends in that   
equation either. More and more, he realized just how wrong he had   
been.  
  
Wiping his glistening forehead with a sleeve, he surveyed the   
little cabin he now called his domain. It was just a little thing,   
three rooms plus a small bathhouse towards the back, but it was   
all his and made by his own hands. Briefly he remembered those   
cold nights during the construction of the house. All he'd had to   
protect him from the weather was his sleeping roll and a slightly   
tattered tent. Kouji had offered to give him another one, heck,   
he'd offered to stay with him and help, but Tasuki had none of it.   
Those very sleeping arrangements had seen him through the happiest   
and most harrowing times in his life and he wanted the memories   
with him at the time.  
  
~ Now it's a dream that is slowly fading  
And I don't want it to go ~  
  
Leaving the relative safety of Mt. Reikaku was one of the hardest   
decisions he'd ever had to make. For all that he liked to boast   
that he needed no one in the world, nothing was further from that   
than the truth. He was a social beast who craved attention and   
wanted to be constantly surrounded by friends. Whether it was his   
family, the bandits, or the seishi, Tasuki had never truly been   
"on his own." Until now.  
  
Oh, he had been more than happy to be back at Reikaku. Yet,   
warring with that was an overwhelming feeling of alienation.   
Bantering with the bandits all those years had taught him that no   
one could ever understand him. No one had been through what he had   
seen. No one had fought the battles he'd won... and lost. Kouji   
had tried. He was his best friend after all, the one who knew him   
inside, outside, and upside down. But even he had failed to draw   
Tasuki out of his self-inflicted prison. He just couldn't relate   
to anyone anymore. Except for him. The other who'd survived.   
Chichiri. But Chichiri had left.   
  
~ All of the memories are evading  
And I want you to know ~  
  
His cheeks were damp. Must be the air. For five years, he had been   
holed up on this mountain, trying to find... find what?   
  
"Genrou!!"  
  
Tasuki rolled his eyes. Kouji. He should never have given him the   
directions to this cabin. Since the baka had trailed him this far,   
he certainly didn't need Tasuki's help to find him behind the   
house. Smirking as he heard his name repeated, he turned back to   
the logs and hefted his axe. Now, what had he been thinking about?   
Oh yes- trying to find-  
  
"Oi Genrou! Your tessen!"  
  
No, that wasn't it. He'd left the tessen at Mt. Reikaku.  
  
"Someone stole your fucking fan!"  
  
Tasuki blinked. "NANI?"  
  
"There you are!" Kouji rounded the corner and nearly collided into   
his frantic friend.  
  
"What did you say?" Tasuki asked breathlessly.  
  
Kouji backpedaled. "Someone stole-"  
  
"You guys were supposed to be fucking guarding it!" Tasuki   
exploded. "How the hell could someone steal something under all   
the bandits' noses?!"  
  
"Hey! Wait a minute-"  
  
He was cut off as the fiery ex-bandit yanked his arm. "Come on!"  
  
~ People of the south wind, people of the southern wind  
It's the people of the wind, I got to be there again ~  
*****  
  
// He's on the move. //  
  
WHAT?  
  
My companion gazed back at me, amusement glinting in his scarlet   
eyes. // Kouji's leading him back to Mt. Reikaku. // He faded   
into a single column of fire as his bird form flew back to the   
mountain to investigate.  
  
I cursed and swore fluently in several languages I knew and some I   
didn't. One does pick up a few things when wandering the land with   
a pack of males too stupid and too dazzled by the promise of a   
young girl to stay put.   
  
// Now that's not kind. //  
  
// You wake me up in the middle of a sound sleep, drag me all over   
Konan, and you expect me to be CHARITABLE? // I hissed with as   
much venom as I could manage. I'd had it. I wanted to go home.   
Anywhere but here. Anywhere I wouldn't have to think about this   
pack I'd adopted as my own once. Anywhere I couldn't be haunted by   
his face. My gentle healer. He'd saved my life. He'd saved   
hundreds... thousands. And no one even bothered to remember his   
name.   
  
The column of fire at my side raised one elegant eyebrow. I   
blinked, eyes prickling from the heat that was not. Oh feather's   
fire, now on top of it all, I was seeing things. Pillars of fire   
did NOT have eyebrows. The voice came again, softer this time.   
// You used to be one of them. //  
  
// I still am! // I cried, the stinging in my eyes fighting to be   
freed, the ache in my heart threatening to devour me. // For him,   
I would have gone anywhere! For them, I would have done anything!   
For you, I left behind my life and nearly died twice! And here I   
am again! I'm sick of this! I don't want to BE here! //   
  
A spark, as if he was shocked at my vehemence. Then the fire began   
to fade.   
  
// No! // Surely I couldn't have wounded him that much? He would   
have known I didn't mean it... he SHOULD have... I stared as the   
column of fire vanished, too shocked to move, too numb to think.   
What had I done? WHAT HAD I DONE?! The rest of my grief poured out   
in one agonized howl.  
*****  
  
Chichiri's head sprang up as the howl caught his ears. It was a   
terrible thing, a wail of such despair, it strummed the   
heartstings of his own pain. Whatever it was, it had sounded   
somewhat close by. Pulse racing, stepped off the path and hurried   
towards the sound. A few minutes later, he rounded a tree... and   
gasped.  
*****  
  
"Genrou!" Kouji clutched the other's arm as the awful noise faded   
into the forest.   
  
Tasuki went still for a moment, straining to locate the voice.   
Then he noticed his arm was getting numb. "Kouji!" he hissed,   
yanking the offended limb out of his friend's vise-like grip.   
"What's wrong with you, man?"  
  
"That sound!"  
  
Shaking his head, Tasuki started off, leaving Kouji twittering   
behind him. The cry had shocked him just as much, if not more than   
Kouji, but not because he was wary. He'd heard that voice before.   
Picking his way through the tangled brush, he reached the   
clearing... and froze.  
  
Directly across from him, in a similar state of disbelief, was   
Chichiri. But there was no time to wonder about that now. In the   
middle of the clearing, head bowed, was the source of that   
anguished howl- a very familiar, very dear, slightly undersized,   
tan and white cat. Heeding nothing else, Tasuki stepped forward.  
*****  
  
~ Now we've traveled all across the oceans  
And we've seen what there is to see ~  
  
All the grief, all the pain, it had been for nothing. When Miaka   
and Tamahome had left, I still had the two. When they parted ways,   
I still had hope. Now even my god had abandoned me.   
  
~ But I guess it's not the proper solution  
Cause it's all about the same to me ~  
  
I was nothing. Had nothing. There wasn't anything left.  
  
"Tama-neko?"  
  
My head shot up. It couldn't be. But there he was, amber eyes   
shining from his rough, rougish face. A shadow caught my eye and   
another joined him, that sweet familiar smile on his scarred   
visage. "Konnichiwa, neko-chan."  
  
My face lit up. With a happy mew, I bounded towards them, jumping   
up at the last second, trusting one of them to catch me. As   
Chichiri's arms folded around my torso, I felt something tickling   
my chest and throat. As Tasuki stroked my fur, I finally realized   
what the odd feeling was. I was purring.   
  
~ Now I look back and it makes me wonder  
Why we just couldn't see ~  
  
Purring... when was the last time I'd done that? The last time I'd   
felt safe enough, happy enough, contented enough to do that? I   
couldn't remember.  
  
~ All of the battles we fought and won there ~  
  
The last few years had been spent in isolation, the ones before   
that, in mourning. But before that... there was...  
  
~ And I wish that I could be with the ~  
  
Mitsukake healing me and inviting me to his hut-  
  
~ People of the wind ~  
  
Nuriko sneaking bits of smoked fish to me under the palace table-  
  
~ I want to see 'em again ~  
  
Tamahome pointing out the stars from his balcony whenever he was   
worried about Miaka-   
  
~ It's where we used to be free ~  
  
Chiriko laughing when I fell into his inkpot, stamping two of his   
scrolls with pawprints-  
  
~ And that's the place for me ~  
  
Tasuki playing tag with me when he thought the others weren't   
looking-  
  
~ It's just a state of my mind ~  
  
Chichiri wrapping me in his cape to shelter me from the wind.  
  
~ A thing that's so hard to find ~  
  
This was my pack. My family. And I was glad to be home. I hoped   
they saw it too.  
*****  
  
Up on a nearby tree, Suzaku, the phoenix god of Konankoku, smiled   
softly at the cat from where he was watching. // Don't worry,   
little one. I think they have some idea. //  
  
Tama-neko looked up, startled. It took a few minutes but his sharp   
eyes were able to pick out the muted firebird sitting calmly on a   
branch, watching him with amused eyes. His fur ruffled and for one   
moment, the god thought the other might actually spit at him. But   
then the purr returned.  
  
// Thank you. //  
  
// My pleasure. //  
  
// Do you think they'll make it? // the cat asked, nodding a head   
at the two seishi.  
  
// Just wait. //  
  
The cat settled down again and closed his eyes.  
  
"Tasuki?"  
"Ch-chiri?"  
"How did you-"  
"Why are you-"  
"I thought you were going back to the-"  
"You told me you wanted to be-"  
"That's just because I thought YOU wanted to be alone!"  
  
A pause.  
  
"I didn't."  
  
Chichiri peered at him anxiously. "So... what now?"  
  
"What now?"  
  
Just then, Kouji came charging out of the bushes. "What now? I'll   
tell you what now! We are going BACK to the lair, you two are   
going to get all this CRAP straightened out, and ONE of you is   
going to tell me WHY you stole that tessen!" he yelled, pointing   
at Chichiri's pack.  
  
Chichiri glanced at the iron fan strapped to his back, at Kouji's   
furious face, Tasuki's questioning one, then finally to the   
squirming ball of fur in his arms. "I found it on my doorstep a   
few days ago. That's why I came looking for you."  
  
Tama-neko squirmed.  
  
"I don't know how it got there," Tasuki hazarded. "I haven't left   
home in months."  
  
He squirmed again.  
  
Chichiri dropped the cat. "What is it?"   
  
The moment his feet touched the ground though, Tama-neko started   
to slink away.  
  
"Oh no, you don't," Kouji picked up the cat and stared into his   
eyes. "You nearly scared the steel off me with that howl. I'll bet   
it was YOU who stole it!"  
  
The feline had the grace to look embarrassed.  
  
"Oi, Kouji, does it matter anymore? I mean, it's here now and   
everything's okay, right?" The question was aimed at Kouji but his   
eyes found and held the other seishi's.  
  
"Yes, Tasuki," Chichiri answered, "everything is all right now,   
no da."  
  
One small fang glinted from the bandit's answering smile.  
  
"Che," Kouji threw up his hands and started for Reikaku. He had   
only gone a few steps however, before he turned back again and   
pointed to the two warriors. "I hope you two know that you're   
gonna be in charge of the litterbox!"  
  
Tama-neko hissed. The seishi laughed.  
  
And high up in the trees, the crimson light flared once and was   
gone.   
  
=============================  
OWARI  
  
Author's Notes: This project was started late last year when   
Quicksilver showed me the lyrics and mentioned how she'd love to   
see a songfic with them. Always up for a good songfic challenge, I   
accepted and set out to finish this as a birthday or Christmas   
present for her. I wrote Chichiri's part and drew a blank when I   
got to Tasuki. Months passed and now, almost a year later, I   
finally got his voice back to finish it. Feedback and suggestions   
always welcome, I know I've screwed up somewhere along the line   
with this one. ^^ I'm just glad it's finally done!  
  
Thanks to the following for the suggestions, comments, feedback,   
and whacks to the head:  
Stormlight Lyra Stormrider Mearl Dox  
Yume Arashi Night~Mare Saishi  
  
  
And of course to Quicksilver, to whom this fic is dedicated. Love   
ya imoutochan! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: All original materials belong to their respective   
owners. "People of the South Wind" belongs to Kansas and their   
respective record companies/copyright holders. Fushigi Yuugi   
belongs to Watase Yuu and a bunch of big companies. No copyright   
infringement is intended. The story is mine and I would appreciate   
an email asking me for permission before posting it anywhere else.  
  
"The Feather and the Fan" Copyright © July 1, 2001 by Moonsong.  
All Rights Reserved. http://fallenangel.pitas.com  



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